i feel like so much has happened in the past 24 hours but i'm not sure there is any benefit to blogging it. i've worked through most of it - at least the parts that do not involve work. i could have done it on my own, but if i had done so - it would just keep perpetuating itself into something larger. the hardest part for me is showing vulnerability to someone else. it makes me feel weak. i'm trying to get over this because it's life.. life can be hard and sometimes you need to rely on someone else for support. i am proud because i have worked hard to change my thought process - and i understand that my issues lie with me. it's not what someone else did or didn't do; it's how i react to it. and, that is a big step.