i ran during lunch, and then sat in the sculpture park in the grass by myself for a half hour. i craved the run like nothing else. the chance to expend the energy was so greatly needed. i know what i'm feeling now. it's that i'm unsure. it's that i want this, this thing, SO BAD, but at the same time, i am so scared. i'm scared of the unknown. i've got myself wound up prematurely. and, i'm beginning to control it but it doesn't mean i don't have these horrible urges to run. because, i do. but there's nothing but shame in that. there is too much to lose to let my fear get the best of me. i just need to breathe. to let this pass. it will come back, but not living through the experiences would be like death. it would mean i gave up. and, that's not an option.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
posted by Mar at 12:52 PM
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